Recently I was in conversation with a colleague when we came upon the topic of apologising at work. Something we do quite often, but not something to think long and hard about. Yet it did prompt me to wonder, when did I last apologise to someone?

Really apologise, not just your average throw-away apology, but an apology that really means something to both parties.

We make mistakes in the workplace more than we like to admit, but sometimes our actions go one step too far, even with the best of intentions. How we deal with these situations can shape our relationships, our career opportunities, the health of our businesses and even our sense of self. As galling as it can be, apologies must sometimes be made and we’d better not make a meal of them.

So I thought about the last heart-felt apology I’d made and it struck me almost immediately. The last real apology wasn’t that long ago, just a few days before this conversation happened.

It took place over chat, which is possibly the least effective human-human communication medium, and was over in a matter of minutes. It was not painful, but it was heartfelt and it prompted me to act to prevent it from happening again to other people.

It had to do with money, to be precise, how soon money would change hands. The lady had fulfilled her side of the bargain and we’d told her that payments happen on Fridays. Naturally she understood this meant the money would be in her bank account on Friday, which was by this point, highly unlikely.

I don’t know if she was depending on the money or if it was just a nice cash bonus, either way she was expecting something that we could not deliver. Worse, it was an expectation we had set. I apologised immediately for causing the misunderstanding and explained what would happen next. The money would be in her account by Monday, perhaps Tuesday at the latest. That wasn’t great news to share, but it was better to be frank with her than set further expectations for things far beyond my control.

The apology was accepted and the next day (Saturday!) the lady told me the money had arrived. What a turnaround! But the damage was done. I wasn’t happy to be in this position so I began to brainstorm ideas with my team, how to avoid it in the future. Some of the ideas:

This simple act — apologising for a miscommunication with a customer — was a thread that connected us to the very heart and vision of the company. What does Skoutli want to be and how do we want to serve our users. How do we want people to feel about us, and what kind of positive impact can we have in their lives. It seems innocuous, but in truth it was anything but.

The next time you find yourself apologising (and really meaning it), remember this moment and use it as an opportunity to learn how we can do better. Then it won’t only be an apology, it will be a chance to thank someone for showing you an opportunity for improvement.